Flames and Goat
by Lizzie2010
Summary: A ChitChat Challenge round 4 PYOP.  Rossi/Garcia pairing; Character A and Character B are forced into being temporary roommates.  Stranded and flooded, the two checked into a motel with only one room avail...well, the rest? ya have ta read it!


Alright, hello to all! Here is my Fanfic Challenge Round 4 – Pick Your Own Pairing Challenge on Chit Chat on Author's Corner.

Assigned scenario is: Character A and Character B are forced into being temporary roommates

Disclaimer: I do not own CM or its characters.

Flames and Goat

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"Again, I'm going to strenuously insist that this is a conspiracy!" Dave Rossi grumbled as he walked into the only motel in a Podunk town of Brighton, Iowa. Brighton? Come on, this place was not even remotely like the town in England…sister city, indeed! This place and everywhere around it was flooded with water!

Penelope Garcia was carrying her bags and felt as if one of the storm clouds from above had dumped right onto her; talk about a wet rat!

"I'm sorry! But might I remind you that it was our Unit Chief who insisted that I joined the team," she glared at the back of one SSA Dave Rossi and was glad that he, too, looked like a wet rat as well; his sport jacket was completely soaked as if he had taken it out of the washer machine and put it on!

"I know what Aaron insisted. Just wished it was someone else that had gone to the airport to get you!" he turned to look at her, and instantly regretted saying it. "Oh, honey…I'm sorry. That's not what I mean, I don't mind, honestly. I don't know why I said it except that this weather is driving me crazy!"

Garcia glared at him, she was hurt by his words but understandably, she was soaked as well and was not in the greatest mood. She nodded at him, indicating that she forgave him, just so.

"I am sorry, Penelope. I'm soaked to the bone, and my go bag is in the other SUV that Emily and Morgan took to the crime scene, leaving this one," he shook his head as he wanted to take these sodden clothes off of him before it became part of him.

_Damn! Where did this rain storm come from?_ He wondered as he walked…well, trudged and squished his way into the lobby and to the counter where a pimple-covered young man manning the desk.

"Hello…I see it's still raining out there," the young man, Scott, nodded at Dave's wet clothes, taking his eyes off the TV set he was watching.

Dave glared at the young man, "Yeah, a drizzle," he said sarcastically.

The young man tilted his head as if he wondered if Dave was serious or kidding.

"Er…whatever man."

"I…we need two rooms," Dave asked brusquely.

"Sorry, sir. We only have one room left, everyone is stopping over because of the bad weather and flood," he was eyeing Dave and Garcia suspiciously.

"Is there another hotel in this town?" Dave thought he was about to lose it but held his composure; it wasn't this young man's fault.

Scott shook his head, "Sorry, nearest town north is Dadestown which is 50 miles or south is Paulsville, 40 miles. But these small roads, it's gotta be flooded already, so there's no way you'd make it out of here, unless you have a boat," he grinned, showing his yellowed imperfect teeth.

Dave shook his head; they had come from Paulsville where a prop plane dropped Penelope off in the small airstrip, where he picked her up from. Dadestown was where they were heading to but not this moment. He had been monitoring the weather channel on the radio in the SUV, and most roadways were flooded. Everyone was advice to stay in town.

"Fine…we'll take the room," Dave said hurriedly when he saw a car pulling into the parking lot. Scott nodded as he handed a sheet of paper to Dave.

"Rossi! It's one room!" Garcia came up from behind, tugging his soaked jacket.

"I'm aware of that, Garcia! It's this or spending the night in the car. Which would you prefer?" he continued filling out the form and handed the young man his credit card.

"Um, excuse me," Garcia waved to Scott, getting his attention.

"Yes, ma'am?" he approached the counter with a key.

"Um, is there Wi-Fi service here? And how big is the bed?" she asked, cheeks flushed.

"Oh, yes we do. But it's dial-up, so it will be slightly slow but its hip as far as this town is concerned. And yes, it's a full-sized bed, ma'am. But there are extra bedding and blankets in the closet, if you and he…" he didn't finish but his point was taken.

"Yeah, thanks. He's taking the couch," Garcia tried to smile but the thought of having to use dial-up…_does that dinosaur technology still exists?_

Shaking his head, Scott said, "Sorry, there's no couch in the room, just a chair…and a table besides the bed. It's got a bathroom with a tub," he tried to make it sound enticing.

"Gee, thanks. My kind of 'out of town sharing a room with a male colleague' type of adventure!" Garcia uttered.

"Adventure? That's what you think this is?" Dave glared at her again, as he pocketed the key while signing the receipt.

"Come on, Rossi, it can't be that bad? It's not like you've never spend a night with a female," Garcia glared back at him.

Scott was enamored at the scene right in front of him; he was trying to watch the newest Star Trek movie that he had been waiting for over two months, renting it from Netflix. Great movie rental service on the web.

But right now, this exchange was more interesting than watching the young James T. Kirk attempting to jump a cliff.

"I have, and what I do with the female…well, let's not go into that because you just want to know… about my reputation at the Bureau, back in my younger days."

"No. Puh-leese, Agent Rossi! You are not the original Bureau Don Juan…" she began but stopped, realizing that she had said more than she wanted to.

"Oh? There's someone in the Bureau with a better reputation than I?" he moved closer to her.

Garcia staid in her place, refusing to let this pompous profiler got the better of her, "I'm not telling you who he is. But we are talking about you, and more than 30 female agents involved back in the Eighties, and that's just one decade."

Scott's eyes were bulged as he began to look closely at Dave; 30? _If only I could do that! Maybe I should apply for the Bureau…what, that's the FBI? On second thought, I'll stick with this gig._ He was thinking about the item in his pants pocket.

"Since when did you appoint yourself as my guardian?" he asked hotly, water dripping from his formerly well coifed hair, to his nose but he gave it no mind as he glared at her.

"Guardian?" she snorted. "I wouldn't use that word. Too saintly for you, I'd use the word…let's see…oh look! Here's Dave…get out of his dick! I mean way!" Garcia's face was instantly reddened.

Dave curved an eyebrow high but he was not glaring at her anymore but grinning slightly.

"Uh…did she say what I thought she said?" Scott couldn't help himself.

Garcia turned on her fiercest glare at the young man, "Mind your own, if you know what's good for you! Don't think we couldn't smell that particular odor reeking around you, and that slight bulge in your back pocket."

Scott's eyes widened more as he held his hands up, "sorry sister! I'll get back to my show," he turned instantly back to his TV and remote control and tried his best to tune them out.

"So…Penelope Garcia, as we were discussing…er…my indiscretions?" Dave wanted to know more.

Garcia shook her head, "Oh no. That subject is closed. I want to get out of these wet clothes."

As she stooped to pick up her bags, she realized her faux pas and looking up, saw that Dave was shaking with silent laughter, his eyes twinkling.

"Oh, shut up, Rossi. Just shut up!"

Shaking his head, "okay. We'll continue this in the room…we've become gossip fodder to our pimpled friend here," he thumbed at Scott who managed to become engrossed in his movie.

"I'm not discussing anything anymore!" Garcia stomped down the carpeted hallway as Dave shook his head before he followed her; this was going to be more fun than he'd thought.

.

When they entered the room, Garcia put her bags down gently and walked into the room, inspecting both the bed and then the bathroom.

"Well? Did it pass your geek-tech approval?" Dave asked, arms across his chest and leaning against a wall, when Garcia came back out of the bathroom.

"It'll do and it has a window to look outside, a little more civilized than I'd expected. But what are we going to do about the sleep issue? You sleep for 4 hours and I sleep the other 4?"

Shrugging, Dave looked around, "Well, I think the bed is big enough for us, it'll be a tight squeeze but we'll manage. Besides, I'm getting pretty tired and frankly, I'm in no mood to get frisky," he taunted.

"What's that suppose to mean? And I'm not sleeping next to you!" she walked up to him, staring up at his face.

"You don't have to worry about your reputation being ruined by the Great Dave Rossi!" he grinned.

Putting her hands on her hips, she shook her head, "Great? Oh no, I don't think so. More like Jerk!"

"Jerk? Oh, now you've really started," Dave advanced one step to her.

Garcia frowned as she took a step back, away from him; his aftershave was getting to her, musky and spicy and oh-so-Dave!

"Stop, Dave!" she held a hand out. She had not realized she had called him by his name but Dave noticed as his eyes sparked. "Stay where you are. I'm being serious. Derek taught me some moves and I'm not afraid to use them!"

Dave smiled widely, "The only thing Morgan knows about moves involved the bed…wait…unless him and you?" he wriggled his eyebrows at her.

Shaking her head, causing her red damp curls to shake violently, "No! That's not what I meant, and don't take things out of context! I'm talking about self-defense!"

Trying not to laugh as he was watching a frightened Garcia; to him, Garcia had always been fearsome and 'taking-the-bulls-by-the-horns' type of girl. This Garcia here, it was too refreshing for him and he couldn't resist teasing her.

He took another step toward her.

"Dave! Stop!" she was yelling at him.

"I heard you, if fact, I think the neighbors on both sides of this room probably heard you as well."

"Then I'll scream," she threatened.

Dave stopped on his tracks, "Garcia, I don't think you want to do that. What you want is a taste, don't you? You've always wondered what it was like to be one of those female agents…"

"I don't believe it! The size of your ego! I…I…Look! You've got it all wrong. I don't want anything from you. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Zippo!" she shook her head again. Dave thought she looked adorable doing that, her curls swinging about.

_Hang on! When did I start looking at her like that? God, it must be the rain! That's it; the rain must have clogged his brains._

_But come on…she is so vivacious, she and Morgan always exchanged those sexual innuendoes…how true are some of them? Or all of them? Interesting!_

"Dave…what are you thinking…what's that look for?" she stared at him wearily.

_Since when have I thought Dave looked damn attractive? What about Kevin?_

_Kevin who?_

"What look are you talking about?" he moved closer to her and was assailed by her perfume; _sweet, fruity, flowery…mmm, smells delicious! So her!_

He was leaning very close to her when he heard and felt his cell phone buzzing.

"Ah! Saved by the …phone!" he straightened up and pulled out his phone; it was Hotch.

Garcia shook her head out of a funk…_so close…almost…hey! Pen! You are not one of those females!_

She turned from him and picked up one of her bags and placed it on the wobbly table; it was her two precious laptops and began hooking them up.

"Sorry Hotch, there's no way we're going to make it tonight. Probably tomorrow. Yeah, hopefully no later than the afternoon or before dark. Yeah, yeah…" he watched her moved about her equipments efficiently.

He spoke again into the cell phone, "okay, I'll let her know. She's hooking her things up right now and I'll get her to call you back when she's ready."

Garcia heard the last and glanced up, "it's going to take a very long while…it seemed we've been transported back into the 90s."

Dave frowned, "er, hang on Hotch. Garcia is talking in her foreign language again and it's not Spanish."

Garcia sighed, "Just because my last name is Garcia doesn't make me a Latino. And it's…oh, just give me that phone!" she didn't wait for Dave to hand it to her, but snatched it out of his hand.

"Hey!" he yelped, as one of her nails scrapped his hand. "Watch those talons, will ya?" he rubbed the bruised skin.

"Baby!" she stuck her tongue out but returned her attention to the phone.

"Afternoon, my liege," she greeted Hotch.

"Garcia…what are you doing to Dave?" he had heard their exchanged and had rolled his eyes up; regretting for the 50th time for sending Dave to get her. He knew nothing good would come out of that!

"Oh, it's nothing. Just the usual geriatric comments," she said cattily.

Rossi shook his head and went to the bathroom and saw a bathrobe and it had a clean fabric softener smell! Hallelujah! Now, that's luxury! Taking his soggy clothes off, he ran a hot shower and rinsing off quickly, he toweled himself dry and put on the bathrobe and walked out of the bathroom.

Garcia looked up from her computer and the phone; her eyes bulged out as she was watching a bathrobe clad Dave walking around; oh my god! I hope he's not completely naked beneath it!

"Please try to be nice, will you?" Hotch begged softly.

Silence.

"Garcia?" Hotch called out. "Garcia!"

That snapped her out of her ogling.

"Yeah…uh…Hotch! I'm still here," she was embarrassed.

Dave had heard her and knew that she was distracted, he began to grin.

Hotch on the other line, "are your computers up and running yet?"

"Well, the babies are up but as to running…I would use the word slugging around more appropriately. Hotch, they only have dial-up here! I've gone back in time!"

Hotch chuckled on the other end, "it'll be okay, Garcia. As soon as the slugs reached the end point, please try to get into the Iowa DMV database and the police files, and search for drunk-driving incidents from two years back. It would be an incident involving a fatal head-on collision, occupant or occupants in one vehicle perished."

Garcia was writing the information, "Gotcha…and I'll get back with you as soon as the slugs come home."

"Thanks, Garcia…you're the best," he complimented her and ended the call.

Garcia smiled as she snapped the phone shut.

"So, what's going on?" Dave asked.

"Just research," she told him what Hotch wanted her to do.

"That sounds about right…two years. Hmmm," he frowned into the distance.

Garcia watched him; it was always interesting to see the way Dave thinks, he would frown and then, snapping his fingers, his face looked as if a flower blossomed…_eeks! Since when did I compare him with a flower?_

And as long as she looked at him neck up, everything would be fine.

Realized that she was still soak, she stood up, "Well, while my babies are waiting patiently here, I'll go shower and change."

Dave nodded, he was in his thinking mood as he walked to the window, looking out but not seeing outside.

.

As soon as she had showered and changed, she had felt better and sat down on the chair, and finally, her babies were ready to work! Thank goodness; Dave in the bathrobe was simply too distracting!

They began to work and discussed the current they were on as she fed information to the laptops while Dave got a notepad and began jotting notes.

They had called Hotch back with some information and putting him on speaker mode when the power went off.

Luckily, they were not thrown into complete darkness as it was still late afternoon.

"Oh! This is just great! I was this close to getting something from DMV!" Garcia shouted at the ceiling, and slumped against the chair.

Dave looked at her sympathetically; he had never seen her really in action until now and his admiration for her shot up.

"That kid had better not be the one screwing this up! I'll sent him to the Delta Quadrant and make him deal with the Borgs!" she muttered.

"There you go again…speaking this foreign language. Please, use the universal language, will ya? And not that mumbo-jumbo shit you were uttering," he said.

"You really need to get yourself up to date, Rossi. I'd thought that writing those books of yours would make you worldly but I guess you're still carving words into stone slabs," she began to laugh as she imagined Dave as a Fred Flintstone caveman, chipping away on a stone slab.

"It's not that funny. Just because you can run your fingers on a keyboard doesn't make you an expert," he returned.

"Oooh, you said keyboard! Now, that's an improvement!" she continued to chuckle. She realized that it had been a while since she had such fun volleying insults.

"Let me tell you, missy! One of these days, someone is going to soundly thrash you!"

"And that someone won't be you," she laughed as she stuck her tongue out at him.

Dave tried not to laugh but on a mature adult, that looked ridiculous but coming from Garcia, it was too precious.

_Precious? Since when did he akin that term on the acid-tongue tech analyst?_

"Are you challenging me? If you are, Garcia, you'll regret it…wait, then again, you might enjoy it!"

Garcia glared at him, "What did you mean by that?"

They were beginning to talk loudly and had forgotten about the cell phone being on speaker and that it was also on speaker mode on the other end of the line as well; everyone of their team was listening to these two.

"What I said, that you'd enjoy that kind of kinky shit," Dave got up from the bed.

Garcia got up from her chair and walked close to him, "for your information, caveman, I don't do that kind of kinky shit! I prefer…wait…you won't understand. All you know is grab the women's hair and drag her to your lair, so uncouth."

"Uncouth? You don't know what you're accusing. Unless you'd like a first-hand demonstration."

"I thought you said you are not in a frisky mode?" she yelled.

"Well, I was not but listening to your cattiness, it's stirring me up. I like this kind of foreplay!" he said angrily.

Garcia sputtered for a moment, her cheeks hot and red, "Foreplay? You call this foreplay? See, that's caveman attitude. Don't you know? Not all women like that kind of rough crap?"

"So, you're telling me that you like to be wined and dined? What? All that shit you and Morgan have been exchanging, that's just talk?" he was ticked off and surprisingly, aroused.

"Wouldn't you like to know, caveman!"

"Stop calling me that, Carrot head!" he fired back.

"You called me a Carrot head! Oh no you don't! For your 411, this color is called Flames of Autumn. But then again, what would you know?" she sputtered.

Dave laughed evilly, "Flames of Autumn? Where do they get that kind of shit name? Red is red. But then, on you, it looked like some kind of chemistry disaster!"

The team on the other end winced in unison and waited for the bomb to drop.

Silent.

Then the team heard a blood-curdling scream and next thing, was grunting and shuffling and a lot of 'oomph's'.

Morgan stared at Hotch's cell phone, "you know she can take him. I had been teaching her some self-defense tactics," he shook his head in fear.

Reid's eyes were as wide as it would go, "yeah, but she's not packing a 9mm and a Glock. But then again, he wouldn't shoot her, will he?"

Everyone looked at Reid who retreated to himself as he looked down to where his sneakers were and willed himself somewhere.

"I think we'll let them handle this by themselves," Hotch began reaching for his phone which was placed on a table, the team surrounding it.

"No!" Emily grabbed his wrist to stop him but let his hand go when he stared at her; Emily's face was red at her bold action. "Sorry, Hotch. I…we shouldn't get off, I mean what if one of them, er, needs medical attention?" she continued to stare at the phone instead of her boss. Her hand was tingling at the touch.

JJ was grinning when she saw the two; yup! Something definitely going on!

But back to the other two…

Dave was pushed down on the bed, Garcia had jumped him and the two were wrestling and pushing each other around. Dave, trying to block a blow from Garcia, put his hand out and knocked her glasses off her face but Garcia didn't paid any mind and tried to pummel him.

"You. Don't. Insult. A . Woman's. Hair!" she punched his chest with each word uttered through gritted teeth.

"Damn woman! I'm just being honest! Stop!" he tried to capture her hands. _Shit! She punches hard! Gotta give to Morgan, he sure 'trained' her good!_

"That's why you're divorced! Three times! And now you're a single old goat!" she smacked his chest hard on that last sentence.

"Old Goat? Woman! I'll show you who's an old goat!" he grabbed her shoulders and pulled her down to him and kissed her soundly.

At first she resisted, pummeling her fists on his chest but as her nerves began to traitorously respond to him, she stopped and began fisting the terry robe and finding bare flesh, she moaned and opening her fist, splayed her hands on his chest and began rubbing on his hair.

Dave was on fire, what she was doing to his chest…he was running his hands on her back and down to her ample rump and groaned as he took in his fill of her butt.

Garcia was lost to the coherent world as she had never before been treated this way.

"Flames huh? I guess that color is quite becoming, now that I'm seeing it up close," Dave said softly as he ran his hand through her hair.

"Yeah? Well, you're still a goat…and I happened to like goats, they're kinda cute. Well, this one is," she grinned as he moved her head back down to him and no more words were uttered.

_Forget the wine and dine and taking it nice and slow! This was more fun! More exciting! More exhilarating!_

.

"Oo…kay…I think it's time to get back to OUR work here. Erm…we'll check back with them later…much later…" Hotch felt embarrassed and he felt like a voyeur listening to…them as he pressed the 'end' button on his phone.

Morgan, Emily, JJ and Reid were laughing and high-fiving each other.

"Wait till baby girl gets here, she and I are gonna have a really good talk!" Morgan grinned widely.

"No way, JJ and I have first dips. You know…it's a girl thang," Emily shook her head.

"But you three are not girls…more women…oh! I get it, er…never mind," he pulled a piece of paper towards him and opened it.

The team looked at him, "I think Spencer is finally beginning to understand what being human is!" JJ laughed as she reached over to ruffle his hair, making him grinned.

"All right, everyone, let's focus here," Hotch had to be the one to refocus their minds to here, and not there…

Shaking his head, he opened a folded paper, "Okay, who wants Beef and Broccoli with steamed rice? And Szechuan Beef?"

.

.

The End

Okay…hoped you like it! Let me know!

Lizzie

P.S. – a friendly reminder, 'Calling all CM readers and authors! Join us for our first Profiler's Choice CM Awards on ! Help us choose the best of the best of the CM stories on , and let your voice be heard. Anyone with an account is eligible to nominate. Please check out the nominating ballot and rules at Chit Chat on Author's Forum at .net/topic/74868/30888142/1/. All rules and information are on the forum.'


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